“I don’t want Music to be my job” I will not name him nor state my relationship with the person who said this line to me. But his line had left me too much question which I cannot answer for a very long time. I kept on asking him the reason why but he only answered me with a sly smile.
Then while I was walking on the streets going to the venue of my first ever legit paid gig, this line hit my head like an arrow crossed through my brain. I know it’s a little bit of an exaggeration, but believe me it’s something you might feel when you’re nervous or when you feel like your heart will burst out your chest. I was nervous.
I always love music and I always admire those artists that I can see perform on stage. People enjoy their music so much. These artists share their talents to everybody and inspire them. And so I was inspired. I always thought that behind those fun performances on stage, these artists also share the same smiles behind the curtains. I was jealous of that feeling and I want to feel the same way but I somehow feel differently that afternoon.
I was singing in front of a lot of people. I can see their smiles and that made me feel happy. They appreciate my voice and the way I performed. I shared my talent and that made them smile. I told myself, “That’s what exactly what you wish would happen” but at the same time the pressure entered the scene and made everything blurred. Only then did I realize what he meant when he said that phrase.
Music is a way to escape from reality. When you’re sad and you want to be alone, sometimes putting your headphones on and lock yourself inside your room can be the best solution. When your happy, playing some happy songs can add up to the mood. Others use songs to tell somebody what they really want to say that they can’t say by mere words. People make music as a tool for expressing what they really feel. Most of the songwriters write songs based on their experiences. That’s the beauty of music.
When you make music as your job, things will go a little bit different. You’re obliged to practice some songs even though you don’t want to sing it. You’ll be forced to go perform on stage even though you don’t feel like it or you’re tired. There will be deadlines for the songs you have to write if you are required to make an album. People will expect to see you smiling and happy always at the same time you want to have a good image for them. You have to inspire them. You have to entertain them. That’s part of your job and sometimes we might hate our job. That removes the fact that music can be your escape from reality.
Now I have a new question which needs an answer. How can I make music as a tool for escaping from reality where in fact it became part of my reality?